Waiting

During this past month, I’ve considered writing a blog for two reasons: first, for my own therapy (which is sorely needed) and second, because of my hunch that many women are struggling through the same emotional turmoil and mood swings (thank you, hormone shots) and might benefit from reading about a woman who might be just a little crazier than themselves.  

I’ve been trying to have a child for almost two-and-a-half years, and I have been fighting for a child for about a year.  I make the distinction because my husband and I decided to “pull the goalie” (as the movie “Marley and Me” states so delicately) but claimed at the time that “we weren’t really trying” to have a baby.  I’m not sure who we thought we were fooling.  After a year and a half of failed attempts even though “we weren’t really trying,” I went to the doctor, knowing by that time that I had PCOS and wondering if my husband might have issues as well.  He did.  Since then, we have been through the Clomid challenge, numerous tests, and IUI.  During that time, we also began looking seriously into adoption.

Today, I feel no closer to a having a child than I did a year ago or two-and-a-half years ago, except that I know more about fertility and adoption, and I have practiced, though not yet perfected, the art of waiting.  I hope that in these pages I may express some of the roller coaster moments I have experienced and perhaps encourage women in their own personal waiting rooms.