Babies, Babies Everywhere

One day I woke up and babies were swarming around me.  Before that day, I occasionally noticed them and smiled sweetly with my arms crossed (no, I don't want to hold your baby).  But after that day of swarming babies, I saw them everywhere.  As I glanced around a restaurant, my eyes traveled from child to child to child, some tiny, some chubby, some with large ears, some with toothless grins, some screaming, some giggling, some cuddling, and the list goes on because the kids never end!

These children are such a blessing to watch, but at times the mother's can be a bit insensitive as they complain or comment on their little gifts.  So, for those women out there who are blessed with this abundance of babies, babies everywhere, please be aware that some women are not so fortunate.  Some women expect and hope and pray just as much--or more than--you ever did and instead receive the ministry of disappointment to teach their souls.  

Because of this inevitable disappointment for someone fighting for a child, please, ladies, let us choose our words wisely.  As an example of what not to say, I'd like to offer a couple of my favorite comments from well-meaning, lovely women who were only trying to encourage.  The first was from an acquaintace who had tried to have a baby for about five months--yes, a whole five months!--and claimed that she had almost given up hope.  She then proceeded to inform me that when she finally trusted God, she found out she was pregnant.  She hoped that her message would encourage me, but the implication seemed to me to be "Are you trusting God?  Are you sure?"  The second was from another woman who told me about her friend who stressed and struggled to get pregnant.  She was 21 and had been trying for 6 months before she found out she was pregnant.  Please, use sensitivity when speaking with women who have struggled YEARS with such issues.

Such comments are offered with good intentions, but I just wonder at times if we (and yes, I'm including myself here) think about our words before we offer condolences to the hurting.  Perhaps it would be best to sit in silence and mourn with our aching friends rather than offering ignorant words like "your maternal hormones will surely kick in if you start adoption."  Maternal hormones????  What are those???? My fertility doctor hasn't yet mentioned those as a treatment option, but if she ever does, I'm sure I'll try them.  But for now, I wait and try to learn from my own experiences about when to speak and when to remain silent.