Choices, Choices

I talked to an old friend over the weekend, and she told me she was reading the blog every day--my biggest (and only) fan, I'm sure :)--(Thanks, A!). But in case others out there are reading too, I thought I would take this opportunity to explain a few details about where Tim and I are at in the adoption process.

It's taken months for us to arrive at a place where we feel almost ready to make a final decision regarding the country and type of adoption.  Tim asked me to wait until June to finally ask him where he feels led, and I've got a count down (7 days!) until I can "pop" this important question.  So, I will preface this entry by saying that any of these thoughts and plans are subject to change.  I decided at  the beginning of this whole journey through infertility that I would allow myself to change my mind as much as needed.

We have explored three different adoption options: domestic, foster-to-adopt, and international.  All three of them afford different pros and cons, and our decision is certainly not the right fit  for everyone.  Instead, we are seeking to find the route that makes the most sense for our family.  Tim and I decided that domestic adoption through an agency would not be the best fit for us at present because in the state of Texas a birth mother cannot sign adoption papers for at least 48 hours, thus leaving her the option--a well-founded option--of changing her mind.  Please note that research shows that this is not a common problem; however, we felt that after ALL of the uncertainties of infertility, this was not an uncertainty that we want to intentionally face.  

Second, we seriously considered foster-to-adopt, and this may still be an option for us in the future.  However, if we adopt our first child, we would prefer a solid time-table for a baby, and unfortunately, the foster-care system does not offer this.  It might be three months (if we were extremely lucky) and it might be a couple of years.  Again, with the uncertain time-table we've already faced with infertility, we prefer to have a more-solid plan. (Though we attempt to realize that nothing is truly certain).  

Thus, we are left with the beautiful option of international adoption, which I feel is fitting for the desires God has placed in me.  I actually felt the call to adopt during a trip to an orphanage in Mexico as I saw a baby who had been abandoned in a sewer because she had a cleft palette and a club foot.  I left that trip with a desire to adopt that has only grown as the years have progressed.  

I felt a bit overwhelmed as we first started exploring the realm of international adoption.  Realistically, there is an entire world out there, and we are supposed to find the one (or two or three) children for our family???  Glad that God is ultimately in charge.  So, as I began researching, I found that about half the countries were closed to Tim and I because of  our age (requirement: 30 years to our 27 years).  Another few carried financial concerns because of the enormous cost ($40,000-$60,000).  Others had trip-travel times of a month or more, which would be difficult since we both work.  That left a handful from which to explore.  

An important feature I then looked for were trends in adoption rates, and after literally months of research, I am most interested in Bulgaria.  They have recently (as of 2008) begun processing numerous applications, and they are even considering lowering the adoption age from 18 months to 6 months.  Now, I'm on the quest for an agency, and I hope I've found it with Little Miracles.  If anyone has any info regarding this country or agency, I'd be happy to hear advice.  Also, if you'd like to see a video of Bulgarian children at an orphanage in Sofia (the capital  city), here's a great link  http://www.littlemiracles.org/index.php?page=programs&progid=11 .

We have a conference call about this program on Wednesday evening, so I will try to update with any additional information after that.  It's all a process to find our precious baby.  Thanks for all your prayers and support!