Squirming

Each day I feel Macie--yes, that's her name--squirm and wiggle, and I've found that no matter what difficulties I'm facing or what anxieties are swimming in my mind, this movement gives me pause, a moment to relax and delight in my baby girl. I spoke with a friend about this strange sensation recently, and I recalled my many fears of being a mom. In fact, I would say I was probably one of the most fearful, non-parents out there. Illogical fears and some not-so-illogical fears kept me so preoccupied that I wondered if perhaps parenting just wasn't meant for me after all. I guess I'm writing this to encourage anyone who has experienced similar emotions about this experience that carries with it so many unknowns. I've noticed that as Macie grows, my worries about loving her and caring for her diminish. I'm sure I'll never be entirely free of mom-concerns, but I am thrilled to see how much the reality of her overshadows the unrealistic anxieties of motherhood.