Time to Rest

I said to my mom today, "If I could just know that I will be okay after the baby is born, I think I would have a peaceful pregnancy." Reading over this comment now points out how silly such a statement is. Why worry now about something I have no power to change in the future and which will not be near as troubling as the scenarios I create in my mind, based on extreme stories I hear? Unfortunately, that's the problem with anxiety--it's illogical and deceptive.

I had coffee with a friend recently who admitted her fears--which mirror mine. She looked at me and said, "I'm afraid to have a baby because I'm afraid of postpardum afterward." Another friend who is struggling to conceive tried to convince me (and herself, I believe) that "Maybe I'm just not meant to have kids . . . and that's okay." (But from experience, I know it's not really okay.) I know exactly how these women feel. I think that anyone who yearns for a child and then watches the stick tell them "Nope, not even close" each month struggles with some of the same kinds of fears. I admit that I even believed for a year or so that perhaps God wouldn't give me a child because I would be a bad mother after it was born. Lies, lies, lies. All lies.

As we all know, however, lies come in a variety of shapes and sizes and appear in a multitude of different circumstances. Ladies, let's find the truth, speak it to one another, and learn to live and walk and breathe it daily.