First of all, Macie changes my schedule and my plan. She doesn't always fit into the nice little time frames I expect. Especially when I change her and then she poops again and then she poops again and then she . . . you get the idea. Or when I go to pick her up to make it to band practice on time and she has baptized herself in a regurgitated milk bath.
Secondly, Macie changes our marriage. Instead of two to consider, there's three and the third doesn't often let us get enough sleep to have a rational discussion. Tim and I are learning to communicate in a whole new way instead of just assuming that the other (him) knows when (I) NEED to sleep in order to maintain sanity. I will say that in 5 weeks we've learned about one another on a whole new level, adoring and caring for our baby together, and we realize how important our "No fighting after 10pm" rule really is.
But now for the third and best way that Macie has changed everything. Last night I cuddled her next to me in bed before handing her off to Tim so I could sleep before the next feeding, and I experienced once again a moment that makes being a mom worth any inconvenience. She didn't do anything profound, just let me hold her and in that holding I experienced the joy of her. Her pink softness. The curve of her cheeks. The way her eyes mirror mine. The scent of baby-ness. The smooth softness of her miniature hands. The warmth of her frame curling close as she fits perfectly against me--just as she did when she lived inside. A lovely peace fills me in such moments of wonder. I look forward to many more.
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That's beautiful! I can't wait to hold her longer!
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